Baldur’s Gate 3 sex speedruns are taking over and the record is already under 8 minutes

Baldur’s Gate 3 players are pushing themselves to the limit in an endeavor to bag the quickest bang. The record will be tough to beat but we encourage you to try.

Just when you thought Baldur’s Gate 3 and its dedicated fans couldn’t get any hornier, they go ahead and make Sex% an official speedrun category. This probably shouldn’t surprise us given it’s the bear sex game with awkward macrophiliac kissing but here we are.

The same player who managed to zip through the game in under 10 minutes has used their considerable skill to answer the big questions. The first being: how quickly can you seduce and copulate with one of the game’s companions?

The answer is a stunningly swift seven minutes and 54 seconds. The sultry speedrunning strat involves slick spellcraft, a wily wizard, and everyone’s favorite grumpy Githyanki Lae’zel.

The video they published shows speedrunner Mae barrel through the opening moments of Baldur’s Gate 3. Skipping cutscenes at lightning pace and bounding over anything unbangable, they make it their mission to get laid by Lae’zel.

Using some crafty camera maneuvers and the Mage Hand cantrip, they’re able to sequence break and trigger the final moments spent on the Nautiloid. Hitting the Ravaged Beach running (well, leaping) they bounce to their boo.

Pacifying the Teiflings who have Lae’zel captive, Mae blasts her out with some magic missiles before being sidelined by a mandatory Goblin fight. After an excruciating wait, they’re back into it.

Finally, Mae forces the Tieflings in town to bow down to the Githyanki goddess leaving her most pleased. One long rest later and a lusty Lae’zel is cruising the camp for coitus to which Mae graciously obliges.

Lae’zel seems an odd choice for a flight to fornicate, given her documented dourness and prickly personality. Still, it’s well-known in the Baldur’s Gate 3 community that this wanton warrior is notoriously down.

Only one other player has braved Baldur’s Gate 3’s most sweaty of speedruns but they’ve not come close to Mae’s efficiency. Second place sits at 17 minutes and 42 seconds but we expect the leaderboard will fill up promptly.