Dixie D’Amelio “broke down” over internet hate: “I feel guilty for being alive”

Dixie D’Amelio might be a massively popular TikTok star and music artist, but that doesn’t stop the internet from sharing their critiques — and some of the comments have become so brutal that it’s severely impacting her mental health.

The life of an influencer might seem like a daydream; vlogging exotic vacations, trying on hauls of expensive clothes, and raking in the big bucks for posting a couple TikTok videos certainly comes across as a charmed life.

However, many social media stars are finding themselves bearing the brunt of the internet’s frustration, with some even becoming victims of frightening stalkers in real life.

While some communities are more voracious than others, it seems that TikTok has become a hive for hateful comments — and it’s wearing Dixie D’Amelio down, who opened up on the topic during a recent episode of her ‘2 Chix’ podcast with little sis Charli.

During the episode, Dixie revealed that she suffers from “explosions of emotions” due to certain health issues that she didn’t elaborate on, admitting that she’s started taking medication for the problem.

• Read More: Charli D’Amelio reveals some of the worst DMs she’s received

That being said, the internet can’t see everything that happens outside of her online posts, leading to multiple instances of commenters hurling criticism toward the star for what they perceive to be an “entitled attitude” on multiple occasions.

“I try to show my actual self, because that’s what people want to see on the internet, but I can’t,” Dixie said.

YouTube: The D'Amelio Family

In November 2020, Dixie became the center of international outrage as users accused her of being “disrespectful” to her family’s chef after being unsure of eating snail.

“Recently, I just feel guilty for every single thing I do, for every opportunity I have. I broke down the other day. I was like, ‘Would I be doing more people a favor if I wasn’t here?’ I’m not trying to… for sympathy or anything, I just want to be real. That’s how I’m feeling.”

• Read More: Is TikTok’s silhouette challenge dangerous?

“I just feel guilty for being alive sometimes, for something I can’t control,” she continued. “It’s affected me personally, and I’ve been feeling this way for months, but when sometimes it gets on the internet and little parts of my actual… you get what I’m trying to say.”

(Topic begins at 4:35)

Dixie is well aware of the lengths the internet can go to make someone feel bad; in December, Dixie was driven to delete the teaser for her song ‘One Whole Day’ after critics brutally roasted the small clip of the music video, and even deleted her Twitter account in January for similar reasons.

It doesn’t look like Dixie is shying away from speaking out on the experience, though, as she even took real hate comments trolls left on her accounts to feature in her ‘Roomates’ music video. While it’s easy to think that influencers are above the struggles of everyday life, it’s always worth noting that there are real people behind the phone screen, no matter how privileged they might seem.