QTCinderella claims it’s “only a matter of time” until she quits streaming

QTCinderella has lit up the streaming world over the last couple of years, exploding in popularity in 2022 through her various collaborations and the Streamer Awards. But the star admits it’s “only a matter of time” until she quits due to the mental toll of streaming, opening up about her PTSD from numerous swatting attacks.

Through 2022, QTCinderella has become a household name in streaming. Once just a guest on the Rajj Patel Show, she has become a sensation in her own right, and pushed to give all streamers better recognition in the space.

Whether it be through innovative content alongside her partner Ludwig Ahgren, or her massive Streamer Awards production, QTCinderella has pushed the boundaries of streaming.

However her rise has come at a great mental cost too. The star has opened up to Anthony Padilla about the stresses of streaming leading her to the “darkest time” of her life, and how she never sees it as a full-time, life-long career.

“It’s only a matter of time before I quit because I’ve lost my mind,” she said on the December 26 video.

“My therapist even said ‘I have never seen an industry more trauma-inducing than this one.’ We’ve been swatted, and I’ve had some pretty traumatic things happen in my life. Luckily I hadn’t developed any sort of PTSD, but I have diagnosed PTSD from us getting swatted.”

QTCinderella and Ludwig have been swatted numerous times across the last 18 months, including during the star’s iconic 30-day subathon on Twitch. 

While she has had to deal with a number of life-changing events, including her mother’s passing, the ramifications of having guns drawn on her in her house have scarred her the most. 

“I don’t know when I’ll be the same,” she admitted. “I don’t know when I’ll be able to sleep through the night. And the option is quit your job, move ⁠— how can you live with yourself and do something like that because it’s funny?

“I have never been more depressed in my entire life… than this past year. I’ve dealt with my mother dying. I’ve had horrible things happen. I genuinely believe it’s the repercussions of my PTSD of not being able to sleep and all of that on top of it. There is so much that I love in this job, but how long can I do it? It’s sad. It’s not any time soon, but I don’t know when the breaking point will be and I’m surprised it hasn’t happened yet.”

The star also opened up on having “suicidal thoughts” because of the backlash she’s faced. Critics online have labeled her “manipulative” and a “clout chaser” due to her relationship with Ludwig, she told Padilla.

“Not to use this as drama, I’ve never been more suicidal in my entire life,” she continued. “It’s more like a thought that scares you. It’s scary. A lot of people see that, and the cynics on the internet say it’s dramabaiting or for attention, but it’s a genuine thing that happens to a lot of people and people haven’t normalized it. 

“Even if I’m the most depressed thing in the world, I love life. I don’t want to die. I don’t want those things, so it’s frustrating when that happens. It comes when you’re deteriorated, you’re so depleted, and your brain is bombarding you.”

As streaming continues to grow, 2023 can be a chance to turn a new leaf in QTCinderella’s eyes: “I’m hoping, as a community, people can get nicer. Over the last year you’ve seen some drama that’s just insidious. If people were nicer, they knew each other more, they were human to each other, then hopefully some of that goes away.”

If you or somebody you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, you can reach out to the Samaritans (116 123) in the United Kingdom, or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) in the USA. For a list of worldwide hotlines, click here.