T1 Rekkles reveals autism diagnosis & explains how conquering his mental health made him a better player
LCK/Riot GamesRekkles opened up for the first time about his diagnosis of high-functioning autism in a livestream interview with Caedrel, and he explained how learning more about the way his brain works has given him a new perspective on his life and career.
Rekkles is one of the most experienced pro players in competitive League of Legends, boasting more than a decade’s worth of competitive experience. His venture to T1 and roleswap to support have been big transitions, but the biggest shift in Rekkles’ life recently has been his diagnosis with high-functioning autism.
The pro player explained that he didn’t even know about his condition until September 2023, when some down time after he got benched by Fnatic prompted him to take the time to see a specialist as per a recommendation from his therapist.
“In September, I get my diagnosis. I have high-functioning autism, or I’m on the autism spectrum,” Rekkles revealed. “My first instinct was, ‘Oh my god, my life is over.’ Because it sounds so negative when you get told from your therapist that you need to do this, and then you get the diagnosis, I’m thinking, ‘My life is over.’ But actually, after getting the diagnosis, my life has just been better. Straight up. Just better.”
The seasoned LoL pro claimed that the diagnosis gave him a lot of insight on why certain career moves didn’t work for him, and that having a stable practice environment with the same players (like he had on Fnatic during the team’s golden years) fosters his ability to play at his peak. All the moving around from team to team didn’t go well for Rekkles, and how he knows why.
“I wish I knew sooner that I had this, but I’m also just happy that I know now. Because, from now on, I feel like I can make my life much better.”
LCK/Riot GamesRekkles framed this diagnosis as a mix of positives and negatives, saying it illuminates many of his needs both a player and a person. For instance, he requires a very clearly defined schedule and routine to succeed, but that routine and the dedication that comes with it is one of his most positive traits as a player.
“From here on out, I should not change teams unless I have to, because it’s not good for me to change environments. I should be careful about which situations I put myself in,” he claimed.
This train of thought would later lead to Rekkles almost entirely shutting down any potential for him to move to the LCS, though he’d be interested in returning to the LEC or staying in Korea.
He’d then sum up the way his brain works in an analogy to make it clearer to both Caedrel and his viewers.
“So basically, it is as if your PC is bluescreening. There’s nothing wrong with your PC, it’s just bluescreened. I give you the, ‘Sorry, I’m not working as I should’ with a happy smile, and my whole day is finished. I cannot do anything. I have to go to bed and reset, reboot my PC.”
This understanding of how his mind works has given Rekkles a newfound sense of clarity, and the ability to let go of many of his past anxieties.
“I think the best feeling that came from it was, before the diagnosis, I always tried to be like everyone else and do what everyone else does. But after the diagnosis, I stopped trying.” he said. “Now, it’s more like — Actually, there’s nothing wrong with me so to speak. This is just who I am, it’s a part of me. I should stop fighting it. If I feel good by waking up early and doing things this way, I should just learn how to communicate it and be better at expressing why and how I want things to be rather than waking up late as everyone else and doing what everyone else does. This was slowly killing me on the inside.”
LCK/Riot GamesT1, his current team, has been very accommodating of Rekkles’ preferences, and the player even claims it’s one of, if not the best, orgs he’s ever been a part of. They didn’t want to bench him, despite T1 ending in 9th for his debut LCK CL split, and the team immediately makes adjustments based around what he needs to succeed.
“I told them, for example, that I want the calendar to be detailed to the minute. This is the time, this is the time we play. Because, otherwise, the schedule would be, ‘There are scrims today,’ but not when. And that freaks me out. I need to know when everything is,” Rekkles explained.
“I told them on a Wednesday, and by Thursday, the whole calendar was filled with exact details. That made me so happy, and it made my life 100 times easier. All that stress and panic I had from before just disappeared.”
For now, Rekkles seems set on sticking with T1 as he figures out where his career takes him next. The decision to speak with Caedrel about this new development in his life and how it has affected him has been an eye-opening experience for his fans and the League community as a whole.
What’s more, Rekkles doesn’t plan on retiring any time soon, claiming that he’d like to make it to at least 30 before he sets his sights on something else and that he doesn’t want to retire before Faker.
These quotes are small portions of an almost two hour long interview with Caedrel where he covered all sorts of topics from his history in the LEC to the DDoS attacks that have been wreaking havoc on T1 HQ.