What is a pick-me girl? Controversial idea inspires viral TikTok trend

Pick-me girls first became a known saying in the early 2000s but has recently made its way onto TikTok as a new trend. But what does it mean to be a pick-me girl?

If you are one of the billion monthly users who are obsessed with mindlessly scrolling through TikTok, you’ll most likely have come across the phrase ‘pick-me girl’. 

Although the term did not originate on the app, it has recently gained popularity as it inspired a new viral trend among users.

What is a pick-me girl?

According to TikTok, a ‘pick-me girl’ is an evolution of the ‘cool girl’, the ‘not like other girls’ girl – they seek male validation above all else, often at the expense of other women.

They, either consciously or subconsciously, adapt their personalities to appeal to the male gaze. She isn’t just someone with traditionally masculine likes and dislikes – someone whose intentions are to center men in her decision-making process. It is often considered the female version of a simp.

The term “pick-me” first started on Twitter under the hashtag #TweetLikeAPickMe, which was used to mock women who fall under the “guys’ girl” category, especially those who consider themselves to be “wifey” material.

Since then, however, the term has since evolved to mean almost the opposite. Now, it means to constantly seek validation and attention from others, especially guys, while also putting other girls down and dismissing their opinions.

The phrase gained popularity once again among Gen Z in 2022, with the hashtag #PickMeGirl garnering 2.2 billion views on TikTok and inspiring a satirical trend on the app.

TikTok’s pick-me girl trend explained

With the rise of pick-me girl content online, TikTok users have created their own spin on the discussion by making pick-me girls the center of jokes in a new trend.

People will act out different scenarios regarding pick-me girls, including them finding out a boy they like has a girlfriend, or just what pick-me girls thinking they’re the main characters in the world.

While most of these stories are completely fictional, they are often based on interactions the creators might have had with a pick-me girl.

The pick-me girl trend has sparked a lot of controversy as it gained popularity on TikTok. What started as an innocent and often funny trend that forces those who might be partial to ‘Pick Me’ behavior’ has spiraled out of control.

While some have used the ‘pick-me girl’ trend to call out sexist behavior displayed by other women, others have simply used it to escalate said sexism and harass women on the app.

It’s become the insult of all insults, used against women for the slightest thing when actually, ‘pick-me girls’ in their fullest form rarely exist.

What is a pick-me boy?

In men, the ‘pick Me’ behavior typically inverts the trend of seeking male validation, rather these men do everything they can to impress women, but usually with ill intent.

‘Pick-me Boys’ are the modern-day fake feminist guys, ‘nice guys’ who typically love-bomb women, and pretend to have the same interests only to emotionally manipulate them later on, according to TikTokers.

If any other slang terms or phrases are confusing you on TikTok, you can check out our guide to learn all about the most popular terms and acronyms on the app.