Ashley Madison boss reveals biggest misconception about cheating

Dexerto caught up with one of the head honchos at Ashley Madison following the release of Netflix documentary Ashley Madison: Sex, Lies & Scandal, and he’s revealed the biggest misconception about cheating. 

It’s safe to say there’s been a strong reaction to the new docu-series. The crux of the story detailed in Ashley Madison: Sex, Lies & Scandal is the 2015 data breach that saw millions of Ashley Madison users’ personal information leaked on the dark web. 

But rather than the illegal hack, many viewers have directed their anger towards those taking part in extramarital affairs and the app that helps to make them happen. 

Paul Keable, CSO for Ashley Madison’s parent company Ruby, thinks people are too quick to judge, sharing what he believes to be the biggest misconception about cheating: that many of those who sign up for the app still very much love their partner. 

“You have to understand our membership isn’t like Tinder; it isn’t like a bunch of 20 year olds,” Keable told Dexerto.  

“It’s mostly people in their 30s and 40s, people who have been in relationships for some time. They’re often cohabitating, living together with kids potentially. There’s a lot more to the relationship than simply dating. 

“Even if they’re married or unmarried, they don’t want to lose that. And I think that’s the part people really misunderstand. The majority of our members still love their partners deeply, and they don’t want to hurt them. 

“That’s why a site like ours is so successful — it’s because we give that path to explore the space with privacy and discretion, so that they can have that undiscovered affair.”

Now, some might still not be satisfied with this answer, especially those who have been on the receiving end of a cheating partner and felt extremely hurt by the deceit. 

Since the release of Ashley Madison: Sex, Lies & Scandal, a number of viewers have shared their experiences of infidelity in the past and slammed Ashley Madison for facilitating it.

When asked what he would say to these people, Keable replied, “If you think our business going away tomorrow will stop infidelity, I have news for you: it won’t. We’re part of a much larger movement. And if people are seeking this out, there’s something missing in their life.”

He reiterated that there’s a variety of reasons why people cheat, adding, “It’s not one singular pathway. 

“And I understand the hurt that comes from finding out about your partner’s adulterous behaviours. But, in fact, that’s why we exist to help people do it in a way that will be undiscovered so they can scratch that itch.”

In some cases, Keable explained, straying partners may just want to have a conversation with another person outside of their marriage, and that’ll be enough to satisfy them. 

“So maybe it’s only a conversation online, and it fulfils that need for them and allows them to go back and be the good partner that you desire and want,” he said. “So I often say, I think — and it’s hard to prove, but I believe this — we probably save more marriages than we break up.”

Ashley Madison: Sex, Lies & Scandal is streaming on Netflix now. You can find out if the doc’s Sam and Nia Rader are still together.

If it’s true crime you’re interested in, why not find out what Pillowcase Murders is all about, how to watch the Alison Botha documentary, and the sinister true story behind Netflix’s The Asunta Case.