Top 10 best Christmas movies unsuitable for children

Sure, Christmas is all about creating a lifetime of magic for kids – but it’s not all about them. For strictly adult-time, here are the best 10 Christmas movies wholly unsuitable for children.

There’s a part of all of us that wants to give in to the whimsy of classic Christmas wholesomeness with must-watches like Home Alone, The Muppets Christmas Carol, and It’s A Wonderful Life!

Other days just aren’t those times. When you’re stuck in the abyss of time between Christmas Day and New Year’s Eve, sometimes a hit of something only adults will enjoy is the best way to get through it.

In the run-up to the festive season, we’ve got you covered – here are the top 10 best Christmas movies unsuitable for children.

Top 10 best Christmas movies unsuitable for children

Below is a list of amazing Christmas movies that probably aren’t the best suited for an audience of children.

That being said, the list isn’t an exhaustive one, and there might be things included that your kid can handle. You’re the parents, not us – we’re here to give you the heads up.

Eyes Wide Shut

As Stanley Kubrick’s final film, Eyes Wide Shut understandably pulls out all the stops. Starting out at a hideously expensive Christmas party, a New York City doctor’s wife admits to having fantasized about a man, leading him to an underground group that is obsessed with sex. As expected, the visuals here are hardly PG, but Tom Cruise’s inner turmoil is certainly worth the watch.

Where to watch: FuboTV

Tokyo Godfathers

A jarring and unexpected anime, Tokyo Godfathers is a Christmas movie with hugely adult undertones. A trio of homeless people surviving as a makeshift family on the streets of Tokyo stumble on an abandoned newborn baby in a trash bin. With only a handful of clues to the baby’s identity, the three misfits search the streets of Tokyo for help in returning the baby to its parents.

Where to watch: Roku, Pluto TV

Die Hard

Yes, we’re counting Die Hard as a Christmas movie – and it’s one that is definitely unsuitable for children. Just as Detective McClane lands in LA to spend Christmas with his wife, he learns about a hostage situation in an office building. Hans Gruber is the culprit and McClane’s wife is one of the hostages. There’s shootouts, explosions, and Bruce Willis crawling through air vents – Die Hard isn’t just an amazing Christmas movie, it’s one of the best period.

Where to watch: Hulu

Bad Santa

Bad Santa is on the other end of the scale in terms of being unsuitable for children, with this Christmas movie leaning into bad behavior in every form. Rather than spreading good cheer, Willie, a swindler dressed up as Santa, and his elf partner Marcus try to rob a mall. Their motive fails when the thief befriends an eight-year-old boy. There might be kids in the plot, but the road to getting there is certainly PG-13.

Where to watch: Paramount+

A Bad Moms Christmas

Where some of the other Christmas movies might not be suitable for children because of content, A Bad Moms Christmas is because of potential second-hand embarrassment. When their own mothers pay them a visit unexpectedly, three women rebel against the huge burden of meeting their expectations with respect to the preparation for Christmas. Want to make your family feel bad? Put this on.

Where to watch: FuboTV

Violent Night

It’s horror meets Christmas with Violent Night, bridging together the epic slasher stereotype with a few Ho Ho Ho’s thrown in for good measure. An elite team of mercenaries breaks into a family compound on Christmas Eve, taking everyone hostage inside. However, they aren’t prepared for a surprise combatant: Santa Claus is on the grounds, and he’s about to show why his Nick is no saint.

Where to watch: Amazon Prime Video

Gremlins

Another film that is a Christmas movie yet possibly shouldn’t be, Gremlins has been single-handedly responsible for the Sunday Scaries since 1984. A young man receives a strange creature as a pet, which then spawns other creatures who transform into small, destructive, mischievous hellraisers. If you don’t want your kids to get ideas after unwrapping some presents, save this movie until later.

Where to watch: AMC+/Apple TV

Batman Returns

In Gotham City 1992, the annual Christmas light switch-on is creeping up – but not before Batman can take on some terrifying villains first. Batman does everything in his power to stop the Penguin while Catwoman has an agenda of her own. Superheroes might be child-friendly franchises now, but in the 1990s, things took a darker turn. Fun fact: Michelle Pfeiffer filmed her infamous whip scene in just one take.

Where to watch: Amazon Prime Video, HBO Max

Silent Night

Christmas meets psychological horror in the 2021 movie Silent Night – leading to some potential festive nightmares for little ones. Nell and Simon host a Christmas dinner for their school friends and their respective families. However, the fact that a cloud of poisonous gas is heading their way makes it a night of confrontations. Trust us… Keira Knightley can do no wrong.

Where to watch: AMC+/Apple TV

Trading Places

Trading Places is classic cinema for many adults, but for younger generations, it probably hasn’t aged as well. Determined to see whether heredity or the environment impacts a person’s well-being, the rich Duke brothers swap the lives of a poor street hustler and an employed aristocrat. The firm’s Christmas party is a cornerstone for the action, and probably not somewhere you’d find kids anyway.

Where to watch: Available to rent on Apple TV+

To check out more of Dexerto’s TV and movie coverage, click here.