First Loves: This chilling movie made me fall in love with anime

With a sprinkling of “happy ever after” here and a slathering of a PG narrative there, it’s clear why people believe that cartoons are only ever for children. In the West, animation has been dominated by Walt Disney, but for Japanese anime fans – like me – Perfect Blue was the movie audiences fell in love with for going beyond.

Don’t be fooled, Japan’s titanic animation industry has largely been geared toward younger audiences too, spearheaded by the international juggernaut that is Studio Ghibli. Behind the studio’s global success, the country’s anime could typically be divided into two categories: ones that were made for young adults with questionable moral undertones (thank you, High School of the Dead) and anime heavily entrenched in dystopias. 

So where was the authenticity, the bite, the spark that made reality all the more inviting? The answer to falling in love with anime lies in the work of Satoshi Kon – or, more specifically, his 1997 horror mystery Perfect Blue. Kon only had four films under his belt as a director before his death in 2010, with the former serving as a marker for pushing forward the boundaries of what the art form can achieve.

For many, animation merely exists as a genre rather than a medium, and it only takes a quick browse on Netflix to confirm that. For those who truly love it, anime exists as a vessel for something bigger than they are, a chance to explore the unknown through the most unfamiliar lens possible. In 81 minutes, Satoshi Kon manages to turn the anime archetype on its head, introducing his audience to a stone-cold reality that was brooding in a pre-millennium world. 

Anime can be for adults

Perfect Blue follows Mima, an unfulfilled member of a J-Pop group known as CHAM! Presented with a chance to go solo in the world of acting, Mima hesitantly grabs it, beginning work on a TV detective drama. At the same time, a stalker starts to mimic Mima online, posting her exact whereabouts publicly – think what’s happening to Taylor Swift now, except hardly anyone knows how to properly use a computer. From here, Mima descends into a spiral of chaos, losing her grasp on reality and her sense of self.

Even on a surface level, the movie’s subject matter is incredibly dark. Moving away from typical family fun for edge, grit, and truth, Satoshi Kon globally pushed animation to break free of its own mold – and for viewers to uncouple from unconscious commercial bias. Taking harassment, sexual assault, and mental health – something seldom taken seriously in the ‘90s – in its stride, the movie does what it says on the tin by creating an exceptional take on things many are still unwilling to discuss. 

At no point does Mima have a handle on who she is and what she is capable of, making her the perfect vehicle for frank and honest discussions in a medium often overrun by childish themes. Nothing is infantilized, fetishized, or commercialized – in fact, Perfect Blue is probably deemed as the chilling horror it is because all it really does is shine a light on reality. This light is harsh, callous, and a world away from anything Walt Disney could rustle up and slap on a T-shirt.    

Perfect Blue is every woman’s worst nightmare

Rex Entertainment

It’s possibly a surprising choice to pick a movie exactly referencing every woman’s worst nightmare as a first love, but every viewing experience of Perfect Blue – whether first time or a rewatch – is transformational. By keeping its focus on the uncomfortable and refusing to tear its eyes away, everything that we believed a cartoon could be capable of is called into question. Kon’s soundtrack is jarring, his visuals ahead of its time, yet its style is so definitively entrenched in the ‘90s that the level of nuance becomes all the more unbelievable. 

In completely different ways, Satoshi Kon went on to challenge us three times more – reframing conventional Christmas in Tokyo Godfathers, our relationship with the societal past in Millennium Actress, and all-out dystopian chaos in his most famous movie, Paprika. Thought to be the inspiration for 2009’s Inception, the intricacy of Kon’s scenes have been broken down frame by frame, highlighting the impeccable level of detail packed into something seemingly so easy to put together. Sure, Hayao Miyazaki led the way for anime to move beyond the West, but it was Kon who showed that it could do more.

If you are someone who is uninspired by an industry that seems intent on destroying itself, movies that are scared to break free from profitable blueprints, and viewers who cannot seem to engage with anything below the surface, then visiting Perfect Blue might provide an enlightening antidote. It’s fun to be scared, and we learn a lot from it – and isn’t it scary to fall in love?